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This trend was augmented by the Industrial Revolution and the growth of the middle class in the 19th century, which enabled young men to select a spouse and pay for a wedding, regardless of parental approval. But as the women's-rights movement gained strength in the late 19th and 20th centuries, wives slowly began to insist on being regarded as their husbands' equals, rather than their property.

As people took more control of their love lives, they began to demand the right to end unhappy unions. "By 1970," said Marilyn Yalom, author of , "marriage law had become gender-neutral in Western democracy." At the same time, the rise of effective contraception fundamentally transformed marriage: Couples could choose how many children to have, and even to have no children at all.

Apart from the couples' gender, these events were almost indistinguishable from other marriages of the era.

Twelfth-century liturgies for same-sex unions — also known as "spiritual brotherhoods" — included the recital of marriage prayers, the joining of hands at the altar, and a ceremonial kiss.

But that basic concept has taken many forms across different cultures and eras.

"Whenever people talk about traditional marriage or traditional families, historians throw up their hands," said Steven Mintz, a history professor at Columbia University. '" The ancient Hebrews, for instance, engaged in polygamy — according to the Bible, King Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines — and men have taken multiple wives in cultures throughout the world, including China, Africa, and among American Mormons in the 19th century.

Some historians believe these unions were merely a way to seal alliances and business deals.

But Eric Berkowitz, author of , says it is "difficult to believe that these rituals did not contemplate erotic contact.

In ancient Rome, marriage was a civil affair governed by imperial law.

"But, for better and for worse, traditional marriage has already been destroyed," she says, "and the process began long before anyone even dreamed of legalizing same-sex marriage."Same-sex unions aren't a recent invention.

Until the 13th century, male-bonding ceremonies were common in churches across the Mediterranean.

But when the empire collapsed, in the 5th century, church courts took over and elevated marriage to a holy union.

As the church's power grew through the Middle Ages, so did its influence over marriage.




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