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This includes any social engagement that requires standing up for extended periods.

Gigs - once my night out of choice - must now be seated and within an hour’s travel of my home.

Otherwise, any week off in which I laugh, eat and watch films somewhere lovely with my partner, constitutes the holiday of a lifetime.

Having been appalled and dismissive of their abject uncoolness in my teens, I now really, really fancy Take That.

I’m not thrilled that my eyelids are hooding slightly and I definitely do care that I’m a whole dress size bigger.

Just not enough to get surgery, take up yoga and pretend that shredded courgettes are any kind of substitute for spaghetti.

Conversely, things make me honk with laughter, much louder and longer than before.

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